mercenarysong (mercenarysong) wrote in mercandthemate,

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What I want...What I need - Part 5

Title: What I want...What I need - Part 5

Author: mercenarysong

Summary: Jayne and Zoe share some intimate moments and in the midst a job gets complicated.

Rating: NC-17

Author's Notes: All belongs to joss...I'm just doing the borrowing thing a lot. Please leave comments, all are read and appreciated. I have not completed Part 6 yet so it will not be posted for a while. Sorry. I will try to hurry.

“Take it easy Jayne, your body is going to need time to heal. The drugs I used to treat you will have weakened your immune system, and caused some muscle deterioration.”

Jayne swung his legs over the side of the exam table, “I feel fine Doc.” He felt like shit but damned if he’d admit it to top three percent standin’ over lookin’ all ‘gee I’m so smart I saved your sorry life again.’ He should feel grateful, but his head ached, throat was raw, damn muscles were tight and weak. Felt like he got caught in a fair fight, an’ ruttin’ lost.

Zoe leaned casually against the door to the infirmary, arms folded, “Is he giving you any trouble Simon?”

“Not likely, he’s as weak as a baby.” Simon said as he busied himself packing away vials of medicine.

“Ya feelin’ lucky Doc?” Jayne said sourly as he stretched his shoulders, a challenge in his eyes. Sure Simon was a little blurry. So what, there was two of him. He’d hit ‘em both.

“Jayne, you do realize that Simon just saved your life, right?” Zoe’s condemning look, fuzzy, but unmistakable deflated some of his irritation.

“I think for the first time I may have second thoughts about saving a patient.” Simon stared at his hands a shadow of self-loathing twitching across his face.

“Well, I weren’t gonna hurt him or nothin’…well not too bad.”

Simon sneered safely across the room.

Zoe cocked her head at Jayne.

He groaned, “Awright, come ‘ere Doc, you did save my life…so ahhh, gimme a hug.”

“Are you insane?”

Zoe looked at Simon out of the corner of her eye, “Did he hit his head?”

“No, but there was the no oxygen thing.” Simon said backing out of the infirmary when it looked like Jayne was going to try to hug him. He slipped past Zoe and hurried down the hall.

Zoe’s dimples softened her face, “Why do you pick on Simon? He’s saved your life and patched you up more times than I can count.”

“Hell, it’s just too easy.”

He climbed off the table but his knees weren’t up to the task. Zoe caught him before he hit the floor.

Zoe’s scent filled his head. His insides twisted with wanting her. Damn. Ain’t been but four days he’s been unconscious, making it five days since he made love to Zoe, but she made him all twitchy like a horny teenager. Damned if he let her know it though.

“Hell, Zoe, can’t ya wait till we get back to my bunk?” He rumbled close to her ear, leaning heavily on her until he righted himself against the table.

“I can hurt you.”

“I’m kinda hopin’ you will.” He grinned lecherously. “Ow!”

Kaylee popped her head in the doorway. “Simon?—hey, you’re up?”

He took a shaky step back from Zoe, leaning on the table. “Kaylee, help me, Zoe’s tryin’ to kill me.” He rubbed dramatically at his chest.

“Whaddya do?”

“Remember how I almost died.” He complained, half leaning half laying on the table now.

“Well, technically you did…die I mean...” Kaylee corrected.

Zoe saw it, the shadow that darkened his face for the briefest second. He covered with a quick smile.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head off Kaylee, I’m made a stuff that don’t die or…stay easy,” He finished awkwardly.

“You had us awful worried,” Kaylee’s eyes softened. “How about you don’t go gettin’ yourself killed again. Okay?” Kaylee leaned over the table and planted a loud kiss on Jayne’s cheek, “welcome back.” She glanced around the infirmary, “um, where’s Simon?”

“Probably hidin’.” Jayne drawled.

“Jayne tried to hug him.” Zoe explained.

“Crap, now I’m never gonna find him. Whaddya have to go an’ do that for ya big—”

“Ow! Gorrammit Kaylee what ya hittin’ me for? Remember how I’m hurt an’…are you two gonna help me get to my bunk or just keep beatin’ on me?”

After some sighing and eye rolling, Zoe and Kaylee each grabbed a side, Jayne looped an arm around their shoulders, and they led him slowly out of the infirmary toward the crew quarters.

Progress was slow. Jayne cleared his throat, “So which one a you ladies wants ta give me a sponge bath?”

“Who do you think sponged ya down when you were unconscious all them days?” They maneuvered around the rail, and down the hallway.

“Really?...You mean to say…you two...bathed me?” Jayne’s mouth hung open, his head swiveled right to left and back.

“Yeah, and Inara helped too.” Kaylee grunted as they topped the stairs. “We took turns, well, except River…Cap’n wouldn’t let her near ya. ” Kaylee chuckled giving Zoe a wicked grin.

“An’…I was unconscious?” he gulped, “...the whole time?…I missed the whole gorram thing?” Jayne looked devastated.

“If ya were awake, we wouldn’a needed ta bathe ya Jayne.” Kaylee pointed out, starting to sound winded under his weight.


He was silent for a few seconds as they maneuvered down the narrow hallway.

“So, did ya…ya know…touch each other…by accident or anything while ya were…doin’ the whole bathin’ me thing?…cause…hey, hey…where ya goin’? Wait, how am I gonna make it the rest of the way…I was just funnin'…Zoe?...Kaylee?”

* * * *

Jayne tightened his grip on the weights. He breathed and pushed in rhythm. Breath out, push up. Breathe in, release down. Out-up, in-down. Out-up, in-down, till his arms started to burn, till his muscles stopped listenin’. He replaced the bar with a loud crash that echoed through the quiet darkened ship. Goin’ at the weights was better than layin’ in bed tossin’ and turnin’ all night, like he’s been doin’ for the last three nights since Doc let him out of the infirmary.

He waited for the burn to fade then grabbed the weights.

‘Rest’ the Doc said. Well, Doc may got all that book learnin’ but he don’t know shit ‘bout rehabilitatin’ a body. Jayne had plenty experience with that, he been hurt more than he could count, come real close to dyin’ before too. He ain’t never given much thought to it though. He took it as truth that a man ain’t got reason to think on dying, unless it was right imminent, then you make your peace and get to dying. Till then, no cause to dwell on it. And he didn’t aim to.

Out-up, in-down. He gritted his teeth, pushing against the burn, against the sweat, against the go se running around in his head.

It wasn’t black at all, it was white, like misty snow swirling around inside his suit, cold, curlin’ all pretty like…cold…crawling in his mouth, melting skin and muscle down his throat. Cutting through the last burst of air he tried to push from his lungs, no sound…just cold, slicing through bone like razors.

Jayne’s arms wavered. He tightened his grip. Growling, he pushed into another set, until his arms and skin were on fire. His right elbow suddenly gave. Before the heavy weights crushed his chest, he pushed with his left arm and sent the weights crashing next to the bench.

Agggh. He rose from the bench too quickly, the cargo bay suddenly tilted. He staggered.

Zoë materialized at his side, steadying him, “Believe Simon said you needed to rest…this what you call resting?”

“Doc don’t know shit ‘bout what I need.” He shook off her hands and stepped away from her before he did something stupid like kiss her.

“So now you’re tryin’ to kill yourself?”

His mouth twisted bitterly, “Naw, Mal’s bound to do that with his stupid ruttin’ plans.” He slid more weights on the bar.

“Way I recall it, Cap’n saved your life.”

“Saved my life?” He spat. “Takin’ that gorram job was Mal’s idea and yankin’ me outta that wreck ass first?…wait, let me see, Mal’s idea. I signed up for Miranda, I ain’t signed up for no gorram war with the Alliance and not for this…this…fei hua. When he’s ruttin’ around with your life you can thank him for it, but he can kiss my ass.”

Zoë glared right back, arms on her hips, “I'm gonna scratch all this go se up to you bein’ sick because in case you forgot, he's still the Captain—"

"He ain't God Zoe—"

"Don’t recall ever confusin’ the two.”

“And I ain’t fond a wakin’ up dead—”

“So what would you have done different Jayne? Turn down a job payin' more than we've seen in two years? Let the Alliance lock and board Serenity? Turn tail, run and leave whoever was stuck on that wreck? What would you have done different? Seems to me the Cap’n risked all our lives to save yours. I ain’t so sure you would have done the same."

Zoe turned to leave, Jayne grabbed her wrist.

“I wouldn’a left no crew behind,” He ground out.

“Really? And I thought you knew that about the Cap’n?”

Jayne nodded, a barely noticeable lowering of his chin.

“We’ve been past this Jayne, why are we here again?”

He was silent for a few seconds.

“I didn’t think I was gonna make it.” His voice was gruff, quiet.

Finally understanding, Zoe nodded, “It was too close.”

Whether it was for him or for her, she didn’t know, but she touched a hand to his chest, the reassuring beat of his heart drummed under her fingers. It was for her. She needed to feel him, know with more than her eyes that he was standing so close. She didn’t trust her eyes because they saw Wash everywhere, when he wasn’t.

Jayne breathed deep for what seemed like the first time since the salvage. The knot planted in his chest since he woke up unraveled under Zoe’s hand. How the hell did she do that?

He looked into her eyes. They had a softness to them he ain’t never seen before. Since the salvage she’s been pounding through his veins, but she ain’t belong to him, and he knew better than any that what he wanted didn’t count for shit, so he fought it, sweat it out, ignored it.

But right then he wanted to kiss her till he forgot what the black felt like, but instead he said, “Ya know he’s gonna get us all killed one a these days.”

She turned and walked out the cargo hold.

He knew she would.

* * * *

She surprised him. She climbed down in his bunk later that night.

She didn’t say a word, just walked over to him and started undressin’ him. She unbuttoned his shirt slowly, pushed it open, touched him all soft-like, over skin, muscles, scars. Slim hands, strong enough to fire a sawed-off Winchester lever-action with spot on aim, trembled a little as she stroked him.

He stayed still—well, as much as he could with her touchin’ him like that—watchin’ her. She wouldn’t look at him. Her hair hung loose, hiding her eyes.

He shoulda known something was wrong. She touched him different. Even foggy with wanting her, he felt the difference. Like she was touchin’ him for the first time instead a closer to the hundredth time. She traced the line of his neck, across his shoulders, down his chest, burning though skin and bone wherever she touched him and, God, she knew just where to touch him.

He reached for her. She gently pushed his hands away. He let her.

One slim finger trailed down the center of his chest to his belt, then it was off and his pants and holster went with it.

She slid out of her clothes, and reached for him. Blessed Buddha. Raw anticipation stretched him instantly tight. He groaned, releasing the breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

She was gonna kill him. Her lips followed her hands, torturing him with slow soft kisses down his chest. The truth of it was he was stunned. Ain’t no body ever touched him like that he might break. Hell she keep it up and he might well. Her hot mouth sparked flames that pooled in his gut. Her lips wandered lower, and the raw heat erupted inside him.

“Zo,” Jayne moaned through clenched teeth.

She took her time, that’s what almost broke him. She tasted him and touched him like she was memorizing him. Her lips and fingers mapped every ridge, and edge.

Swollen and on fire, he strained tighter under her warm mouth and wet tongue. Wuh de tyen ah. He felt light headed.

She finally pulled him to the bed. He sat. She straddled him, slid her wetness against him.

They’re bodies molded together from hip to shoulder. The cold lingering inside him melted with his bones. He caressed the sexy curve of her back, drinking in the feel of her skin. Zoe arched against him, friction from straining nipples against skin sent shudders up his spine. Wuo de ma. On barely intact instinct his body drew in a ragged breath.

She offered him her lips and he took them greedily. He lost himself in her lips, in the silk of her skin, the wetness of her body against him. Only been days since she last came to him, and here he was lappin’ at her like some schoolboy in heat. What the hell was he gonna do when she didn’t need him or want him anymore? He pushed the implication to the back of his mind.

This was all he needed right now. All he wanted in the dark, in the black, when he couldn’t breathe and the cold suffocated him; this was all he had wanted. A tremor erupted deep inside him, part fear, all heat, flashing through him from where their bodies met but frustratingly did not interlock.

He wanted her so much it hurt. He growled his frustration into her mouth.

“I need to be inside you Zo.”

His fingers found her wet, but he needed her slick so he wouldn’t hurt her. He shifted her away from him and with one hand he stroked her at her center, the other, he tangled in her hair, pulling just enough to get access to the curve of her neck. His lips found the sensitive skin on her neck. Zoe whimpered softly, she arched against him, trembling under his hands.

Ye soo. She breathed his name, just the way he liked to hear her say it. Throbbing around his fingers, her hips began a slow roll against his stroke.

Jayne took her mouth and made love to her lips. He was so lost in kissing her that the wetness on his cheeks only registered in his desire clouded mind in degrees. The taste of salty sweetness on his tongue shook him to full consciousness.

He pulled back. His heart bout stopped when he saw heavy tears stream down Zoe’s cheeks.

Something he couldn’t name stabbed at his insides, and damned if he didn’t feel more defenseless that moment than unarmed with a loaded gun pointed at his head.

“Did I hurt ya?”

Stupid question since he wasn’t even inside her yet, but his blood-starved brain wasn’t working so good right then.

She shook her head, “Don’t stop". Her lower lip trembled and she sucked it in her mouth to still it.

Jayne searched her face. She wanted him, it was plain, but something else was on her mind. Everything in his head, dimmed as it was, told him to stop, a real pitiful argument against the hammering at his crotch, and Zoe’s husky voice in his ear.

But he couldn’t just keep going, not with her cryin’ like that, and that haunted look in her eyes.

“What’s wrong Zo?”

She shook her head again, “Don’t stop.”



He groaned.

God he wanted to…shit, he really wanted to, but with control he didn’t know he had, he stayed still, about a second too long for Zoe’s liking. With a quickness he shoulda known she was capable of, she maneuvered herself above him, and slowly impaled herself on him.

A sudden explosion of heat rocketed through him, shaking him to the core. He groaned wildly, her name caught somewhere in the sound.

Zoe moaned, her head flung back, body arched, her body straining to accommodate him. Her trembling hands clutched his shoulders.

Jayne grabbed her, wrapped both arms around her forcing her to stay still against him. Only the sound of their breathing and Serenity humming beneath them stirred in the room. Her body throbbed moist around him, and a raw need to move inside her started to build.

“God, Zoe.” Jayne willed himself to stay still to let her body adjust to him, but he was losing ground fast. He wanted to be completely inside her, but he needed to go slow with her tonight, no matter what she thought.

He suddenly needed to see her face. He palmed her cheeks in his hands and thumbed away her tears.

Searching her eyes, he said, “Tell me you’re ok,” his voice was gravelly, rough with desire.

“I’m ok,” she said instantly but fresh tears slid down her cheeks.

“Zoe—” A knot in his chest threatened to strangled him.

“I’m ok...I just...I need you now.”

He nodded, wiped away her tears, then eyes still locked, he palmed her hips with large hands, lifted her slightly in counterpoint to his retreat, then pulled her to him as he drove smoothly into her, still holding back.

A spiraling heat seared through Zoe starting at her core, flaring through flesh and bone. She whimpered. He entered her again and again, each time pushing her higher and higher, each time holding back just enough.

He climbed with her, forced himself to push away from the edge when her body almost dragged him over. Jayne didn’t take his eyes off of her, and she didn’t hide from him. That she wanted him was written on her face, on her body, the way she moved. Yes. This was the Zoe that belonged to him.

He drove a little deeper. “Bao-bei,” Jayne growled.

Zoe gasped, overwhelmed, her body quivered as he retreated then filled her. Her mind reeled, spiraling from sensation to sensation, unable to keep pace with the havoc inside her. She moaned, arching chocolate-capped breasts into his hands.

With a savage growl, Jayne spun Zoe on her back, framed her legs around his waist and drove smoothly into her. He forced himself to hold back, to go slow and steady with her. Zoe’s eyes drifted close, soft sighs purring from her.

“Open your eyes Zoe.”

Zoe forced open heavy-lidded brown eyes, liquid with emotion. God, she made him feel so ruttin’ defenseless lookin’ at him like that, all heat, softness and… no, not love. He weren’t stupid. Weren’t no love in Zoe for him, and he weren’t ready to think on it for his part…, but hell he wanted as much of her as she would give him.

“Open for me Zo,” Jayne whispered against her mouth. “I want more.”

She tightened reflexively around him.

He groaned, a rumbling in his chest, “no,…relax...”

He felt the tension instantly drain from her arms and legs all wrapped around him.

“That’s it…now open for me.”

Then, eyes still locked, he entered her completely. She arched away from the bed, crying out as he slid deeper than before. Jayne caught the sound in his mouth. Her fingers grabbed at the tangled sheets for anything to anchor her.

Bone melting heat throbbed around him. He was buried in her from hilt to tip and, God, he couldn’t breathe.

“Jayne,” Zoe moaned, trembling against him.

“I know bao-bei, I know.”

Buried deep inside her, he could feel her urgency, feel tremors grow inside her that threatened to pull them both over the edge. Zoe’s body gripped him. Jayne groaned deep in his throat, as a rush of wet heat flooded over him. He set his rhythm, burying himself completely inside her again and again with smooth strokes.


She was there, balancing on the edge. Her eyes, heavy lidded and raw with need, didn’t leave his. She vibrated under his hands.

He held her there, not willing to let her go just yet. He entered her with long slow strokes, then building faster and harder until she whimpered.

“…yes, bao-bei,…that’s it...give me what I want.”

She tightened almost painfully around him, shuddering uncontrollably.

His own release hit him suddenly. His mind shut down. He could only feel, feel…Zoe against him, the ribbons of heat spilling from him, the wetness of her skin, the way her body milked him as she moaned through her own staggering release.

He thought it would finally end, then Zoe moaned, contracted tighter around him and sent him spiraling again. Every muscle in his body tensed, toe-curling explosions rocked him. A shiver ran through him into Zoe, she moaned into his shoulder. They held onto to each other, trembling, gasping for breath.

When he could control his limbs again, he rolled to his side, taking her with him.

Neither moved or said anything, for long moments they lay wrapped around each other.

“You okay?”


He settled her against him and pulled the sheets around them, his lips pressed to her temple.

“Ya gonna tell me what that was about?”

“Nothin’ to tell.”

“You always cry bout nothin’?”

She wiped at her wet cheeks with the corner of his sheets.

“You need new sheets.”


She tensed against him, “Leave it be Jayne.”

Zoe tried to roll away from him but he held her firm against him. After a moment she stopped resisting, but it weren’t the same as stayin’ willingly so he kept his hold.


She closed her eyes, her face slipping into a well-worn mask. She shut him out completely.

Gorram woman was stubborn.

It was real clear to him then that even though she gave him parts of herself, there was some parts she weren’t willin’ to give to him. And usually a woman givin’ him her body woulda been plenty enough for him, but this time it wasn’t. Not from Zoe.

* * * *

“See ‘ere’s the problem mate.” Fanti said, his face framed in the display next to his mirror twin Mingo.

“Crate you brought us needs access codes to op’n it.” Mingo finished.

“Not my problem.” Mal frowned, his arms folded casually, his back straight and tense.

“But you see, it is your problem.” Mingo sneered.

“You said you’d bring us what was inside that there crate.” Fanti continued.

“Seems to me you got the crate ergo you got what’s inside.” Mal smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. It rarely did with these two.

“Just blow ‘er open. Hell, I’ll do that for ya for free.” Jayne stood next to Mal, Zoe took her position to Mal’s right.

“What’s inside that crate is a touch delicate you see. You blow it up, no value. No value, no coin.”

“Here’s the short of it.” Fanti said, a touch of venom detectible in his tone even through the wave.

“No access code, no coin, dong le ma?” Mingo’s voice, identical to Fanti’s, had the same edge.

“Fine.” Mal pursed his lips then forced through his teeth. “Where do we get the codes?”

Fanti gave him a toothy grin, “Good question Captain.”

“The fellow who owns that there barge,… a certain Huron Merrick has them codes. Our sources tell us that Merrick ‘appen’s to be sittin’ on them at his little place on Half Moon.”

“You sure he has the codes?”

“Would we lie to you?” Their voices rang as one.

“Yes.” Mal, Zoe and Jayne answered.

“He has the codes.”

“All you’ve got to do is” Mingo began.

“…liberate them from him,” Fanti finished.

“How you reckon I do that…just waltz in there, smile pretty, and ask him nicely for them codes.”

“Why don’t you get the gorram codes yerselves. We did our part.” Jayne was gettin’ impatient.

“You pay him to talk as well?” Mingo spared a scornful look at Jayne.

“No, that’s free…so why don’t you?” Mal asked.

Fanti and Mingo exchanged a look.

“Let’s just say Merrick has an interest in getting that crate back himself.”

“You stole his crate.”

“Correction Captain. You stole his crate.” Fanti said smugly.

“If I were you, we wouldn’t mention that fact or our names to Merrick.”

“He hates you.”

“Hate is such a strong word.”

“But no doubt accurate.” Zoe folded her arms across her chest.

“Merrick’s got a fancy manor on Half Moon. Business been good to him and he fancy’s himself to be some sort of neo lord or such.”

“Loves to show off.”

“Don’t they all.” Mal smirked.

“We suggest you make his acquaintance, and take it from there.”

“No thank you, we in the thieving business, not having high tea with self entitled Lords and such.”

They shrugged in unison, “Your choice, but it may be useful to know that he’s been looking for that freighter for some time. Seems it went off course, and he hasn’t been able to find it, look like some unsavory characters got to it first. We’ll send you what we have on his little place.”

The vid screen blinked off.

“Told ya they’d screw us.”

* * * *

“Fanti, do you think we should have told them about Merrick’s…appetite.”

“What? And ruin our fun?”

“You’re right. We owe Captain Reynolds that much.”


Fei hua - Bullshit.
Wuh de tyen, ah - Dear god in heaven
Wo de ma - Mother of Jesus
Ye Soo - Jesus!

This is a link to What I want...What I need Part 6
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